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Writer, individual and couple
licensed
psychologist,
criminologist.
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M y  S e r v i c e |
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An inconsiderate mother [ Letter Index ]
I am actually on the edge with my wife. Things may tumble one day or another. We continually yell at each other in front of our
children. I consider her a whore and tell her she doesn't know how to be a
mother. Her answer is that I am not a man. I have always tried to satisfy her to the point that I actuality spent on her the entire sum of the sale of a
flat. Now she scorns and humiliates me. Maybe this is the reason I am not a real man for all the times I let her have it her way, for too much love. The situation collapsed with the birth of our second child who still isn't 1 year old. The
other. a 9 year old boy, is not getting on too well at school. My wife has totally gone
crazy. She goes out at night. Forcing me to stay in with our children and to do all that should be done by
her. What kind of woman forgets about her children and goes out minding her own business? A
monster? Even if she denies. I am certain she bus a relation with my son's football trainer. Of
course. we no longer have sexual intercourse but anyway I no longer care about
her. I only ask her to behave as a mother. I cannot stand her inconsiderate
behaviour.
Agostino (Brescia)
Often we feel like victims of persecution while others consider us as their
torturers. It is the case of total incommunicability. Especially in couple life.
The risk is that of piling up
resentment, vexation, desire of revenge. And one day, you realize you're living with a
stranger, even worse, an enemy. Accusing her Of being a whore and a bad mother only Leads to worsen the
situation. Your son hears, understands and perceives everything. Despite his will, he is forced to make a
choice. Either against his mother or you. A weight which is impossible at his age to support and will end up making him feel
guilty. Take note that she is suffering exactly as you are. If she can't go on, your reproach will only foster
hate. She has not forgotten she is a mother. Perhaps in this moment, she is feeling the excessive weight of the situation or
is trying to defend a role which is endangered by
motherhood, together with age depression, loss of independence and physical
decline. It could be that she sees you as a prison guard that wants to nail her to
responsibilities, ignoring her difficulties and her deep needs. Apart from your eventual choice of
separation, I believe that you should do whatever possible to regain a familiar atmosphere of
collaboration. Obviously it is not easy. Between the two of you, grudges. deceit and anger have gathered and
settled. It is an effort that has to be made. In your case I suggest a
psychologist
Roberto Di Marco |
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About me
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