Dream and Reality [ Letter Index ]

I am 33 years old, a bank worker, and internet lover. I find it exceptional to communicate with unknown people. Moreover I think that anonymity gives you the chance , paradoxically , to be yourself, to talk without inhibitions. Especially with one particular girl I have established a direct dialogue, intimate, a very deep understanding. That may seem ridiculous to you, but in some way we have made love through the computer. We even exchanged telephone numbers. I find it exciting to call her. any time during the day, to be in the mind and imagination of somebody never seen before. Our complicity is so full that she did not decline my uncommon proposal: to meet each other in a hotel room in the dark, with the only intention to feel the physical presence, keeping out the last barrier of sight, climaxing this play of suspense and mystery. I booked a room in a secluded place on both names and invited her to wait for me in the room. On the way to the hotel I called her on my mobile . She told me minute by minute what she was doing. I heard her while she was taking a shower. Then she went to bed while I kept listening to her voice. When she switched off the light, I entered the room that was obviously not locked up. Slowly and silently. I walked in the dark room. I sat on the bed and started foundling her. We made love all night. It was a freaking experience.
Now she has asked me for an ordinary daylight date. I feel very curious and also fear that we may catch into normality and banality.
I am afraid she may vanish as a dream in the same instant I see her.

Bruno G.

Dream and reality,  imagination and truth seem to run on the same track in your letter. But it doesn't matter distinguishing them. It's your truth that counts. Something interior that you express through your imagination, that makes you escape from "norma1ity and banality". The dim image that appears and disappears in your mind, stimulates your desires. while reality could extinguish them. Is better for you to feel the shape of body in the dark, grasping reality? Or Are you afraid of delusion and judgement? A real relationship requires physical, total involvement. Sometimes people speak about themselves but the idea you get of them is often different from what they say. It all derives from the look, many subtle and vague sensations. The so called body language.