Fatal attraction [ Letter Index ]

I'm 31 and just to make my father happy, who did not agree about my life style and several adventures with "easy" girls, I took the decision of setting down, marrying a so called good catch, a young girl, 20, a housewife of good principles, still virgin and inexperienced. She always lives under the shelter of her mother, who also stays with us. In other words a safe harbour to hang on to once you grow old (as my father always told me). For a surgeon's son it was exactly the case, a girl who stayed aside and never got into trouble. Now it's 7 years we are married but I've never abandoned an everlasting libertine life. Even if I put her aside, she lives in my function. Though I have a great consideration of her. I do not love and I never have desired her sexually. To me she is a friend that after a while I have no longer anything to say to .Luckily, I stay home only on Saturdays and Sundays. Now she is insisting to have a child. I avoid the issue. I am not sure I want one from her. What can I do about the fact that I am attracted towards haughty, fickle and also a bit whore style women. I also had a lasting relation with a girl who danced in night clubs. I almost decided to divorce from my wife, then fortunately I opened my eyes when I realized that it was only money and good life she was after.

(Giuseppe B.)

I can understand every kind of marriage. traditional, revolutionary, open or closed, with all the consequences of difficulties and misunderstandings even betrayals, rows or sexual troubles. But there has to be something, a frequency, the instant in which a simple presence of a companion is enough. The choice of yours actually seems silly. You are forced to interpret an inexistent role. Parents often worry too much about the choice of their sons' partners. It originates from the natural! instinct to preserve one's descendence. Often we are so stressed by them that we grow up with the idea of becoming what they want us to be, putting away an identity which sooner or later, explodes in an uncontrolled way. I would not wonder if you decided for a sudden and impulsive cut. Take this decision in time, but don't reveal how you lived during these years. What is the use to appropriate her feelings, expectations, her days to come? In name of convenience or appearance? You are also fooling yourself.